What creates positive change? How does transformation occur?
I have learned through many years of professional study and my own personal journey that change happens under very specific conditions. It has been my mission to make these conditions defining features of my work.
The first condition that facilitates positive change is support from another person. Just as a plant needs food, water and sunlight to grow, internal transformation happens when we have sufficient emotional support. I believe that empathy and acceptance create a sense of safety that is essential to facilitating change.
Another condition that supports change is your commitment. This is what I ask you to bring to our work. Change cannot happen without your effort. Your willingness to work hard and take emotional and interpersonal risks is essential to your success.
Another necessary condition for change is self-awareness or the willingness to look deeply into ourselves. When we do this without judgment we call it mindfulness. Through mindfulness we become aware that there are many more choices than our habitual patterns of behavior suggest. With this new perspective comes the possibility of new action. We can learn to tame overwhelming feelings, listen to difficult ones, transform destructive feelings, and increase our capacity to experience joy and pleasure.
Within you are the seeds of transformation, the answers to your dilemmas – our work is to connect with that core and mobilize your intrinsic capacities so that you can move toward what you want in your life.
When therapy is successful the seeds of transformation that live inside of us have been nurtured and new growth becomes visible. You will see yourself acting differently in the world, making the changes you want in your life, and experience yourself as whole and capable.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson