Partnering effectively may be one of the hardest challenges we face as adults – right up there with parenting!  As we come up against our differences (in what we think, feel, need, or want) conflicts inevitably arise between ourselves and our partners.  And given the high degree of investment we have in our partners these conflicts can feel very threatening and extremely painful. 

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In the face of these dilemmas we often fall into one of two patterns.  In the first pattern we let go of our position and accommodate our partner’s needs and wants but, in so doing, disconnect from ourselves.  Over time this leads to feeling lost, out of touch with one’s self, and resentful toward our partner.  In the second pattern, we stand our ground, and dig in, but lose our sense of closeness with our partner.  This leads to repetitious arguments, mutual hostility, feelings of rejection, with rigidity and stuckness predominating.  Both patterns result in disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, an increasing sense of loneliness, and alienation from our partners.  We respond to these painful experiences by either withdrawing to protect ourselves or we chase after our partners and cycle through conflict after conflict.

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I see my role as a couple’s therapist to help you shift out of these painful cycles and into more effective ones.  I create a sense of safety where each person can be heard, understood, and respected.  I help you learn to